Love Or Infatuation

Funny thing is, i dont know what this is anymore.. Really.

It all started on Tuesday... We were asked by my wickedly awesome French teacher [Mrs. V!] what is the difference between "love" and "infatuation"...

and so, you know... there's only about a thousand different answers to that question....

Love is giving, caring for that other person's happiness, even if it means letting them go.

Love is forgiving.

Love means giving a part of yourself to that person.... forever.

Love is requited..

Well, I BLOODY DISAGREE.. That is not true.

I would know, and i think everyone too, that love is NOT ONLY requited.

I've experienced it once, [and maybe twice now]...

The first time I realized that I loved this guy was when i woke up from a dream.. a dream about him being suicidal because his stupid gf [in the dream] broke up with him. he tried to get himself killed by walking in the middle of the road, trying to get hit by some car. In the dream, i tried oh so hard to stop him. to explain to him that life is not going to end for him. he'll find another one. he'll move on.

I'll help him move on... But he said no. he told me he loved her.. and it stung. even in the dream, i felt my heart [not quite.. but my chest] wince in pain. a pain so overwhelming, it brought me to tears [both in the dreams -- and later, when i woke up too]. i begged him. told him that i would do anything.. anything to get them back together.. even if it will kill me inside...

a truck came, and i saved him. saved him from the fate that i wanted to suffer right at that moment...

the pain in me during that dream was so great that i woke up.. crying... crying.. just crying... I knew then, at that moment i knew i've fallen


and now, the confusion and different emotions that i'm feeling battles those of the first one.. This is just plain crazy.

i dont even know what to THINK anymore. oh god.. i'm sorry. i needed to vent.. i needed this blog..
i'll explain furthermore tomorrow..

thanks guys